Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
