Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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