I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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