I'm lost and stupid without you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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