Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize