The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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