Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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