I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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