An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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