Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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