Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
