That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
