Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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