I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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