mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
