she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
