Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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