She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
