After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
soo... how was my night?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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