whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
