she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
