i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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