Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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