I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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