Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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