why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
