i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
