She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
whose parrot is this?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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