i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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