Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
His nipple licking is glorious
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