Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
