that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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