Are we in a gay sports bar?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
