I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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