We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When are your genitals available?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
