I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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