STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
