Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just found puke in my bra..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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