So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
