i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Are we still banned from the library?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
