Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
