I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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