I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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