Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
