Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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