Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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