I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
