Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
