What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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