Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
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I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
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We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize