I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
