it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
