That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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