Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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