Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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