how can u be prego again
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
