There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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